3 goodbyes in 2010

1^st – it was my grandma in early 2010
2^nd – a dear friend of mine, in mid of year 2010
3^rd – and now, my mum’s younger brother

I was half asleep yesterday when my cousin rang me and told me the shocking news. I mean, it still is shocking although all of us were kind of anticipate that he would not survive his battle with cancer for long, but not that fast. This uncle of mine (who is also my godfather for he has no child) was diagnosed with TB early this year after my grandma’s funeral. He’d lost half of his body mass and after few months of treatment in Malaysia, he came back to indo for recuperation. Only to be diagnosed later that he had lung cancer, in which, he is not aware of..til death took him away. Stadium 4 cancer + bad tuberculosis + cancer cells had spread all over his body = he had slim chance of survival.

The siblings wouldn’t give up. He wanted to recover so badly as well. He had been wishing to go to China and the idea just fitted well. China + stemcells treatment. And off he went. And after a month, he passed away yesterday, just like that. No sign. Nothing. He just kept perspiring, had short breath, doctors and nurses were sent in to help and he lost the battle. Just like that.

I was more in horror to deliver the news to my mom. And really, to my horror, I just said, “Mum, papi (it’s how I address him) has passed on.” I believe my mum just dropped her phone and started crying hysterically. Lucky her friends were there and I had to ask their help to accompany her. It was a really big blow on her because she just chatted with him and planned to visit him at the end of this year. But fate speaks differently.

I’ll be going back for the funeral service. My aunts and the other uncle are in China, taking care of the cremation and logistics matter. I can totally empathize their feelings. Blood ties, no matter what, are thicker than anything else. All of them must be devastated. At least my mum is.

Mum, “He just told me that he was having his lunch and that was the last time I talked to him.”

Aunt, “He asked me to help him putting on his socks before he headed to airport, and I couldn’t believe that it was the last moment that I had with him.”

The last time we talked:

“Oh, what’s good in Beijing?”
And I said, “Well, beside the Great Wall and Tian An Men, maybe..their superb peking duck.”
“Oh..when are you coming?”
“Let’s see...end of year? We can all gather there in Beijing to celebrate old & new.”
“Ok..”

And now, he couldn’t even wait for Christmas to be home.

3 wives club!

2 days ago, i dreamed that i was sleeping and i dreamed (yes, i dreamed in my dream). in that dream, my grandma visited me. she was in her prime condition. nice hair too! she started everything with, "how is everyone doing?" then we chatted about...i couldnt remember what it was, but it was more on she catching up on us. and she ended it with, "you know what, i know that you'll have 3 wives in future. i know." i woke up in that dreamed and told my mum about it. then i woke up from that dream feeling confused. i laughed it off early in the morning, it was 6am! i told my mum later in the afternoon (this time was not a dream) and my mum said grandma visited me. but i guess, i think she came to my dream because i thought about her last weekend. she's still missed.

your smile, we remember...

i know her back then when i was still in college. we hung out only for a couple of times and hi-bye when we bumped into each other at malls or cafes. and since then i never really kept in touch with her but only random comments in facebook here and there. until 2 years ago. i heard that she had leukemia from my other friends and that she was actually staying in singapore for the medication. i took the initiative to send her a message from friendster, telling her that i knew about it and she could contact me anytime if she needed any help or anything. there was no reply for weeks. but finally, in which i'm very grateful for, she replied. i cant even remember what she said in the msg but we began to know each other better since then, along with yin, dennis, thing and flo.

a lot of things had happened in the past 2 years. concerns, happiness, laughters, jokes, funs, all of them. in fact, after trying to recall what we had gone through for the past 2 years, they were mostly happy things. i can still remember how loud we laughed in the middle of the night during her stay at hospital that the other patients next doors had to send a nurse to calm us down. or all those good times we'd shared at her house talking rubbish that sometimes it made us roll ourselves on the floor for laughing out loud.

i really have to admire her for being brave and positive all this while. we never treated her specially for being sick, and she carried herself well too. i even remembered that she was the one carrying my dirty plates to the sink and clean them all, or even cleaning the dining table after our dinner. sometimes we would even try to clear all the snack stocks in the cabinet. she was always bubbly, cheerful, full of updates, observant, understanding and even as a person to talk heart to heart to, especially for yin and thing, discussing about loves or whatever girly gossips that they had.

her family too has been wonderful people. her mum, her aunt, her sisters. they have been truthfully supportive to her all along. iv always told us how she felt bad about getting more attention from her mum or other people because she was sick. or having her sisters to take care of her and not the other way round. for that, she said that she had to be strong and stayed positive. learning japanese language, looking forward to study again, so on and so forth. never giving up to her illness, she lived her life as fullest as she could. but, fate speaks differently. we got a call from her mum friday early morning telling us that she was in critical condition. we rushed to hospital as fast as we could, but by the time we reached there, she was gone. we were totally in disbelief, hoping that we didnt hear what we just heard. i just talked to her on tuesday. it felt like a huge slap on my face and i was partially hoping that she would wake up and yell at me again. but it didnt happen. the next thing we knew, we were looking at her lying motionless on her bed. she was gone.

eating hilton cheese cake wont be the same again. eating bella pizza wont be the same again. eating delivery pizza wont be the same again. eating no signboard wont be the same again. eating patissier cakes wont be the same again. eating sik wai sin wont be the same again. eating chatterbox chicken rice wont be the same again. eating crystal jade fried bun wont be the same again. eating rabokgi wont be the same again. all those favorite foods of her wont taste the same again.

we'll miss her yelling at us. we'll miss exploring food with her. we'll miss discussing books and movies with her. we'll miss making sure that all the food was well cooked for we were so used to doing that when we were with her. we'll miss her loud laughter and we'll definitely miss her annoying mobile phone with lots of accessories!

we're deeply saddened by her departure, but we'll cherish all of the memories we've had. and this is from the bottom of our hearts, we're really glad that she ever walked into the path of our lives.

goodbye, Iv.

and the omikuji says..

the cloud is finally going to be blown away and it wont be long until it's time to embrace the warm sunshine. hopefully the restless sleeps are coming to an end. fingers crossed!

milk tea paradise

so, to quench my thirst over hong kong milk tea, i went to hong kong last weekend.


well...not really. i actually went there to met up with some of my shanghai jiao tong friends, it's been a while. i didnt plan to shop (or i have to say i didnt have any budget to shop), so i stuck to the plan 'food quest'. we basically moved from one restaurant/cafe/eateries to another and fortunately, we had eaten quite number of good food, and oh..dont forget 'milk tea'! however, it's a wrong decision to go to hong kong in summer. as you know that the streets there are not really friendly (hike, slope, hike, slope), it really worn us off to walk around while spending most of the time wiping off our sweat. i even needed to buy some shirts to change (budget spoiler)! i wont go back in summer, ever. (unless it's for free)

some of jiao tong's special people

lan kwai fong was packed, as always. loud too. the weather was totally unfriendly that i perspired non-stop when i was wandering around. i stayed late with my friends but didnt join them for another club because i was too tired that i decided to go back, even alone. i was walking to quieter road to get a cab and suddenly i heard a girl whistling loudly and said "hey you!" i looked at her, well, them actually. they were like a group of 3-4, drinking outside a bar; i was with that kind of 'you-mean-me?' look, and one of them said, "c'mon join us." i suddenly felt like a manwhore. i ignored them anyway. they should have thrown few piles of money, i might *ruff* *ruff* *rrrrRrrrrr*.....and be a good boy.


we spent the next and next day, as i said, wandering around looking for food, food, food and food. of course we visited the peak (although it was foggy), avenue of stars, won tai sin temple too (since my prayers have not been answered so i went there asking for blessings). let me try to recall what we had eaten...hmmm. dimsum, roasted pork, char-siew, french toast, egg tart, some buns, porridge, beef noodle, some tomato noodle, milk tea and more milk tea, stinky tofu, mango/watermelon dessert, err..hmmm, yah, well, etc etc etc.

milk tea in hong kong is trully good!

delicious french toast that can be found at one of the restaurants at peak's sky tower

the good food makes up for the horrible restaurant

when we checked-in in town (at hongkong station), they have this 'dai ga lok' restaurant that my friend had been raving about. honestly, i was not so enthusiastic but i was glad i decided to go along because it turned out that they had good char-siew and roasted pork! i will definitely go back to that place. anyway, we even bought a pack and bring it to our flight. yumm!!


in this trip, we had like 53 hours and 40 minutes in total (before we boarded to the flight back to singapore, this doesnt count!). we slept like for a total of 7.5 hours (ya, we didnt have enough sleep), 4 hours in total for shower+unpacking/packing...and it means we spent like 42 hours on the street. hmm, not bad for such a tight schedule. a good weekend getaway always bring a smile on your face, no? =)

hong kong, i miss you

it's been a while (4 years..) since the last time i visited hong kong when i was on my way back to indo from shanghai. i miss bustling in the busy street where a lot of locals hollering their cantonese in which i dont understand but find it interesting and i definitely miss the good food there (dimsum, roas pork/duck, etc). looking forward to visiting hong kong again!!!

£129,995.00 for an Ipad

a not regular ipad i must say. redesign with solid gold and diamond; encrusted with 53 diamonds in the solid 22ct Apple logo. i really wonder who is really crazy enough to spend £129,995.00 on it. there're only 10 available for grab. i know it's really difficult to believe that this is actually for sale, but check it out at: stuarthughes.com
image is courtesy of gizmodo.com

good brand, good quality

i like its signature intrecciato weave. i like the rich leather smell. i like the soft nappa leather material (it gets softer and shinier after you've used it for quite sometime). and i dont see a lot of people carrying this brand, which is good.

new member in my footwear family

the last time i had a sneaker was quite sometime ago where i wore it to almost anywhere (when i'm not in dress shoes/flip flops) until it worn out after a while. so, i donated that pair away. i didnt plan to buy any shoe anytime soon because my footwear family has grown to the size of 16 in its household. sometimes i wonder why do i need them all. but i guess it runs in the family. my mum and sis are big fans of shoes, even though they dont wear some of those that they bought. i guess that is enough as an excuse for me to own many pairs too. so anyway, i bumped into this pair when i was actually helping my friend to shop for a luggage. the price is good, about 70% discount and i thought, "hey..why not?!" and today, he (yes..'he'!) is officially the 17th member in my footwear family (that are currently usable and not yet donated).


i'll wear you, real soon!

the bitter stickgirl published a book!

and i got myself a copy too!
it's such a loss that she stops blogging because she's really good! just simple drawings but they all carry a lot of meaning. very interesting! check it out at: The Bitter Stickgirl

hunger strike in the middle of the night

and all i can think of is Graze's waffle...argghhhhhhhhHHHH!!!!!!

how the hell does this kid rock my fav song!!

OMG!
this kid is really really good! it's been a while that i'm totally stuck in youtube for more than hour browsing only on one user. presenting, Sung Ha Jung!!!!





(the video is property of youtube.com, you may view this video at: SungHaJung-I Just Called To Say I Love You)

how the hell do you cook japanese curry

below are basically what you need to make a good chicken katsu curry:
- diced potato and carrot
- onion
- chicken (preferable breast..i dont like drumstick)
- marinated chicken (you can do home-made by using bbq sauce, salt, pepper, black pepper, etc)
- curry sauce (i like 'Vermont' brand)
- bread crumper for katsu
anyway, pictures shown below are self-explanatory (^^)

the (my) new workingbag

i would have preferred all leather material for it looks expensive and worth the money that you pay for. but..even though this bag might not grab your attention at first sight, its handsomeness along with simplicity and functionality eventually make me fall for it. and of course, it is not a burberry if it doesnt have its signature nova check on it. they're beautifully hidden inside the bag. it too comes with a detachable strap when you need to sling it.


available in japan (i have not seen one in any of singapore burberry stores)

panic kills before the actual suffocation

believe me, i know!


just when i was walking out from the hall after watching Iron Man 2, i was chocked by M&M chocolate. how ironic it was that sweet might be able to kill you. i guess it melted at the wrong hole that it suddenly stopped me from inhaling anymore breath. (panic!!) for first 10 seconds and i tried so hard drawing in more breath with no success. (still panic). i stopped walking and figured that it would be best to stop trying. it worked, but i knew it wouldnt be for long. i then drank some water to wash away the f-in chocolate that was stuck somewhere. after a few gulp...hoahh...at last. i was soooo relieved. you know..like when somebody pushed you into the water, you went nuts and then finally you managed to get out and sipped the breath of life. (punch the guy who shoved your head into the water if it truly happens to you!). damn. it would be damn stupid if you get killed by a piece of chocolate. so, listen to my piece of advice. dont panic! if it ever happens to you. if you're panic, you're most likely to get killed before you can get some help. not on this choking case, i reckon' it applies to most critical situation. i know..i know..easier to say than get it done. but, well, just remember.

why the heck did i shake my bon bon in the bathroom

something is wrong with the light. it keeps blinking. it's really frustating. usually, the only annoying thing that i do to a bathroom is to sing out loud in it (beside farting..), i guess i just picked up new idea this evening when i took a shower.


gotta buy new bulb i guess....(and a disco ball, maybe)

why the heck do i bother blabbering anyway...

it’s been almost a month since my grandmother passed away. i thought i was over it, but talking about her with my cousin yesterday did bring back memories about her. yesterday was her birthday anyway, i bet she’s partying ‘up there' with many of her folks, vigorously, i’m sure.


nothing much has happened lately. i've finally made a big decision to take a giant step on carrying on to more new chapters in my life. i shouldnt say it here anyway because i havent officially announced it yet. right now, the most difficult thing that i'm going through is 'preparing'. i had never been a regular prayer, but i have been one lately. i guess i need a little...correction, a lot of HELP for sure. so if you see me acting in a bizzare way one of these days, dont worry, i'm still normal, just a little messed up.


last weekend. we went to this place called '3 Monkeys' at orchard tower. didnt plan to go there initially, but we didnt want to spend too much time waiting for a table at timbre (both substation@fort canning park and the one at old school), so a friend of mine came up with the idea of watching kumar's stand up comedy. i didnt know who kumar was anyway. so, he turns out to be one of the well-known transgender comedian in singapore. $18++ for a drink at a shabby place sounds a little bit too expensive. but then after watching her/his show, it was kinda worth it. vulgar jokes, not for kids though :)


and as usual. brunch. i like going for brunch. not too early to have breakfast and not too hungry for lunch, so a brunch is a perfect combination. but it's the price!! why must nice brunches be so expensive..?? *sigh*....i guess we're paying for the place. anyway, i'm sharing pictures from our brunch session below and you may get to see more if you're in my facebook friends' list. here's the link: Brunch(es) Collection



you must have heard about volcano eruption in iceland that has been the headlines for the past few days (beside bangkok's protest that has now turned violent). Mount Eyjafjallajokull. what a name, huh. anyway, the disaster itself has caused not only inconveniences for the people living around there (evacuation, so on and so forth) but also huge bills for airlines around the world because it causes disruption to hundreds of thousands of travel plans and closure of airports across europe. i guess the global climate would be affected several years down the road too. not sure if it's for good, but i read somewhere that the eruption of this volcano could cause temperatures worldwide to dip just slightly by two or three degrees in the next two years, which is....good! no? well anyway, i'll leave it for the scientist to find out and let us know. in the meantime, you may enjoy the 'beautiful disaster' (that's what i like to call it after seeing the pictures taken by a lot of professional photographers and shutterbugs) here: Volcano in Iceland.


image is courtesy of www.flickr.com


well. have a great weekend y'all!

i was so haunted for few days last week

so, my grandma passed away last saturday. after her long battle with colon cancer, she was finally in peace and left us for good. actually, after my last visit, her condition was better and according to my family, last friday was actually her best day in the past few months. she was so relaxed and concious. though some supertitious cousins and friends did tell us it might be a sign that she was leaving soon. and they were right. she left us the next day at 5+pm.


i just happened to step out from cinema and saw 3 misscalls from my cousins. i knew it right away that it was going to be bad news and before i had the chance to call back, they called again and delivered the bad news that grandma had just passed away. i was in shock. although i was kinda prepared for it, but still, i was shocked. before i could compose myself, my youngest uncle called and devastatingly told me that his mom passed away and cried out loud for few minutes before he hung up.


i broke down. even more when i called my sis and told her about it.


i flew back the next morning. the atmosphere in the house was so..weird. silence..grief..awkwardness...it was just not right. everyone was still wiping their tears and chocked at times. i myself swallowed so many bitter balls for that. my grandma's body had been sent to the funeral home after 8 hours of chanting by tibetan monks at home. so i drove there with my parents and some of my cousins. when we arrived, i walked nervously from the parking lot to the funeral parlour where my granda was rested and there she was..covered in colorful praying clothing, on the bed.


i broke down when my aunt said to her, "mum, your grandson is here paying respect to you."


she looked just the way she was when she slept. so calm and relax and...in peace. for the next few hours, we were busy picking a casket for her, watching my aunt putting make up on her, moving her from the bed to her casket, praying, listing down names for newspaper and all other necessary arrangements for the funeral. what we basically do for the next 3 days was chanting along with the tibetan monks for 2 hours in the morning, doing this and that in the afternoon, took a short nap at home, going back to the parlour for 1 hour of evening praying session and busy attending to cousins and friends who were very kind to spend their valuable time to drop by to pay respect and show support.


i kept crying at evening praying session. not because i was such a cry-baby. but looking at my grandma's picture..it was so intense that it brought back all the memories with her and i couldnt contain my sadness within. and, my grandma showed up everywhere! she was practically haunting us, in a good way. i could really see her laughing along with us when we joked about her. i could see her sitting on the chair watching us paying respect to her and said to us, "dont cry. it's alright." i could see her smiling when we said how beautiful she was in her sleep. and i could see her cry during the last praying session. it was so clear that i felt i was haunted.


but 'haunted' is not the right word to describe it. the truth is, she is gone, physically. but she lives on, in our hearts. because of all the memories that we have with her and we treasure.


i am damn glad she ever walked into the path of my life.

are you smart enough to solve the puzzle?

so, you've been offered to solve this quiz created by Einstein before. and well, let me share with you on how to solve the matter step by step. thank me later for understanding this, if you didnt.

There are 5 houses in 5 different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. These 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same drink.

Here’s the question: Who owns the fish?

1. The Brit lives in a red house
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets
3. The Dane drinks tea
4. The green house is on the left of the white house
5. The green house owner drinks coffee
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill
8. The man living in the house right in the middle drinks milk
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house
10. The man who smokes Blend lives next door to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next door to the man who smokes Dunhill
12. The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer
13. The German smokes Prince
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house
15. The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water

you should start putting things in table. it will make things easier for you. let's start with those straightforward clues.
8. The man living in the house right in the middle drinks milk
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house



we know what green house is on the left of the white house (point no.4), so we need to figure out whether white house is located at the far right, or second from the right. for that, we need to scan through for more clues. and you'll come to: 5. The green house owner drinks coffee
this means green house cant be at the middle, and since it has to be located left of the white house, it becomes:



point no.1 tells us that Brit lives in the red house, so we're only left with 'yellow house' for the 1st house, and red will be house no.3
and we should just need to fill in the rest clues into the table.
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill
11. The man who keeps horses lives next door to the man who smokes Dunhill



We're left with this clues:
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pet = either House 4 or House 5
3. The Dane drinks tea = House 2 or House 5
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds = House 3; House 4 or House 5
12. The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer = House 2 or House 5
13. The German smokes Prince = House 2; House 4 or House 5

So, here's the solution in sequence:
1) We're wondering what does Norwegian drinks (either tea, water and beer left). Tea is out as it's for House 2 and 5; cant be beer as the beer drinker smokes Blue Master), thus, it's 'Water'.
2) The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water
3) The man who smokes Blend lives next door to the one who keeps cats.
4) The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer. Well we were wondering if beer is for House 2 or House 5, but since House 2 smokes Blends, we're only left with House 5.
5) Tea is the only left-out, so it's for House 2 and that means we find out where Dane stands.
6) The German smokes Prince -> only House 4 left for this clue.
7) The Swede keeps dogs as pets -> only House 5 is available for Nationality

Last clue, but not least: 6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds -> we're left with House 3 for Pall Mall smoke, and there goes Pall Mall and Birds.

So, who keeps the fish? I guess you know now.

why the heck did i frantically look for flight ticket and go home?

i was rushing back to my home yesterday. home in here means 'real home' in medan. and now i'm stuck at the airport waiting for my flight to singapore and after changing enough money to buy mcD, here i am wondering what to do in the next 3 hours before my flight. i didnt sleep well yesterday, i'll probably be a mess tomorrow. duh..

it was actually my trip to bid the last farewell to my grandma. she's been sick for a year. colon cancer. bedridden for a year. and she's been mute for a year too. ermm...my cousin told me that actually to date, it's been 1 year and 11 days to be exact from the day she was sent to the operation room. so she's been fighting her cancer for the past 1 gruesome (to her) year. why gruesome...she was a restless person, walked more than i did in a day, and always talked..even to nobody. so, being bedridden and mute totally takes away her, basically, life. the cancer grew again few months ago. bigger, and eating her alive, literally. her condition had been bad to worse. our family doctor has been telling us this, but all the cousins decided to prolong her life, save her as best as they could. but the time is up. and this time, it's for real.

"1 week, the most" that's what the doctor said. and to make things worse, he told me that it might be less than a week this morning. my grandma body cant take in anymore meds. nothing helps her. she has another tumor/cancer at her left lung now. she has trouble catching her breath. her kidneys stop working (they produce less than 400ml of urine in 3 days) and it means her kidneys cant detoxify anything now. albumin injection doesnt help as her body cells dont really respond to it anymore and now she's swollen, here and there. dialysis might help to detoxify her body, but doctor said that it was going to be painful and she might not be able to take it. so, there's no point and he asked us to just let her go, peacefully. well, he said that my grandma would just stop recognizing everyone, and maybe in coma for a while and just..gone.

that's why my cousins and i were back, to bid our farewell while we still have the chance.

so, this afternoon, before i knocked-off, i was given a private time to have a talk with my grandma (or, it was just me talking and she just listened and blinked her eyes -- which means 'yea, i get it.'). i didnt have anytime to rehearse or to compound anything in order to say to her. and i just started very idiotically by telling her "hey, i miss your fried sweet-potato cake!" and i kept going on with the list of her specialties (food, of course). and how grown up i am now that she didnt need to worry about me anymore. then...i apologized for my wrong doings to her, if any. (then the maid came in interrupting my session and i said, "OUT!!") then i went on...telling her i was glad having her as my grandma. last but not least, thanking her for everything..for giving me my mother and my cousins; and sealed my speech with, "yes, i will miss you, but dont worry, we'll be alright and we love you. i love you."

she waved her hand, bye-ing to me and i was such a man. left the room and rushed to bathroom to, i'm-not-sure-how-long, cry.

why the hell do i need a break from everything

it seems that everything is not going according to what i had expected them to be (well sometimes yes, but most of the time..no). so you know, when you expect something (good) to happen to you and if it doesnt, you'll be dissappointed. multiply it by 100x, and it means a hundred of disappointments. not to add in some mishaps that happened to you unexpectedly, it just amplifies the bad luck to BAD LUCK, in capital words.


i've heard enough bad news lately. i've had enough concerns lately. i've experienced bad things lately. i've been badly treated lately. i've been dissapointed lately. and i've been mad a lot of times, lately. so, have you ever felt like your guts is twisting out of sudden? you then remember that you didnt take any stale milk or some leftover meal that you managed to dig out from fridge after it almost became fossils. and minutes later you find yourself inside the toilet with your face just half a metre away from the toilet bowl vomiting...nothing! well, yeah, it happened to me last tuesday. and i decided to take a day off on wednesday and pray to nemesis that everything will be balance, again. it was probably, over-depressed, momentarily. heck i know about it.


the good thing is, i always believe in law of attraction. alright, for you who happen to have no idea about what 'law of attraction' is, it's like....things will happen if you believe in them. continuously of course. or let's say, 'have faith'. so, it works like this. when you truly believe in something and works towards it (or them), keep believing that it will happen and make sure that you stay put to your positive attitude; the world will somehow shift its molecules and atoms and whatsoever things it has to turn your wishes/hopes true. i wont put my head on the table and guarantee you 100% that it works, but..it happened to me before. so, i..believe..that whatever wishes i have that i always keep in my mind and truly pray for them, will again be granted. sooner, or later.


so, yea..why i said it was a good thing that i believe in law of attraction? it reminds me to keep afloat whenever i'm drifting to the other end (negative thinking, depression or whatsoever). bless me!


the hell i need a break from everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. but i cant. YET! i will. one day i will. the first thing that came to my mind is to take a break from my job and catch the next flight to, far far away island and live there for maybe a month or more to renew/retouch/redo/rewind or whatever re- re- re- myself. and after that session, i will come back to my life and, voila! everything is good again, or better. but i cant. i dont have the money, i dont have the time, and worst...i dont have the guts. F me!!!

goodbye friendster!!!

Well, it seems like aeon ago since the last time i bothered about friendster. I finally decided to really cancel my friendster account and leave it to Flinstones. Thus, i have no choice but to start my rambling media elsewhere (blogspot..where else..duh). And if it still works, here's the link for my previous notes:

http://gohcuk.blog.friendster.com